As you are about to read this column, thank God unreservedly if you are among those he has delivered from boarding public buses. The menace associated with this act, to say the least is exasperating. Apart from the drivers’/conductors’ nuisance which you have no choice but to tolerate, you also have these obnoxious and guileful brown envelop carrying preachers to contend with. Apparently, religion has become the opium of the people simply because of the government dereliction of its statutory obligations.
The more people are impoverished, the more they become vulnerable to all sorts of messages in the name of the gospel. The more unemployment accelerates the more young men and women resort to self-serving preaching as a means of survival. It is so loathsome to say the least that this is done without considerations for the passengers’ susceptibilities.
Beside the badly spoken English language mostly used by some of them to convey the message and saliva often poured on passengers sitting close-by, the content of their messages are oftentimes contradictory to the real gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ. My experience inside these public buses these past few weeks that my car broke down is not palatable at all but, at least I found this particular one very interesting to share with you on this column. The day was Friday last week and the weather was also not too convivial.
I hurriedly boarded a bus heading to Ikeja from Obalende, to at least avoid the harsh weather. Sitting beside me was a young man wearing a faded but well ironed suit probably in his 40’s. As the bus was about to move, this young man stood up and greeted everyone in the bus.
His mission was to preach the gospel which according to him, he has been doing for the past 20 years. As he was about to commence preaching, he ordered the men putting on caps to put them off, while the women he commanded to cover their heads as a sign of respect to the presence of God which he boasted was already overflowing in the bus. I was totally dismayed by the alacrity with which almost everybody in the bus complied with this command.
After the praying bout and indecipherable tongue speaking, the shout of “Halleluiah” rented the entire bus as he commanded passengers to wave their problems away by waving unto the Lord. Trust Nigerians, the compliance was very tremendous.
Buoyed by this, he commandingly introduced himself as a prophet of God sent to deliver people, especially passengers from bondage and accident causing demons. He indirectly derided the passengers as people of little faith and challenged God to physically manifest his power in this bus if indeed he is God’s servant. His preaching to those willing to listen was on the powers and the manipulations of evil forces and marine spirits. As we got to the middle of Third Mainland Bridge, he stopped the preaching abruptly and started mumbling.
Quietly but with a strong voice he said, “I perceived the presence of the Queen of the Coast in this bus”. Gullibly some shouted, “The blood of Jesus”. At this point, the prophet violently began to bind and loose and subsequently demanded that all eyes should be closed. Suddenly there was this horrific scream which interrupted the prayer and forced every eyes opened. Behold, it emanated from a beautiful, fair in complexion and smartly dressed lady sitting at the rear seat of the LT 35 bus. With her eyes ablaze with contrived anger and contorted face, she pointed at the so called man of God and declared, “This is my territory and how dare you think you can stop me? You dare not disparage my kingdom henceforth, understand! She yelled at the prophet.
In fact, you must be extremely discernable to understand that this was a contrived plot ingeniously executed by two guile fellows just to extort gullible and unsuspecting passengers in the name of God. At this point, there was an uneasy calm inside the bus; passengers were already jittery, especially those sitting at the rear seat with the so called queen of the coast. Expectedly the prophet replied in a commanding tune “shut up you blood sucking demon from the marine world. I come against you in the name of our Lord Jesus”.
With her eyes fixed on the preacher, the lady laughed scornfully and wanted to utter some words, but the so called prophet cuts in. “I seal your mouth with heavenly super glue. And by the power vested upon me as the oracle of Jehovah the most high God, I put you into temporary sleep in the mighty name of Jesus” he commanded. But trust Nigerians, almost everybody was too nervous to chorus Amen, at least not in the middle of the lagoon.
It will be like insulting someone right in her compound. “God of Elijah, Fireeeeeeeeeee,” He thundered. Lifting his hands above his shoulders he continued, Jehovah! No be you bi the snake wey dey swallow snake? The burning fire, oya! Gbooosshhaa! Part (1) ends here.
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