Ese Walter Ark, the lovely wife of Cool FM OAP, Benny Ark, who shot
into public consciousness in 2013 when she made public her alleged
s*xual relationship with married COZA Pastor, Biodun Fatoyinbo, has
taken to her Instagram page this morning, saying that she married her
husband just to shut people's mouth up.
According to the gospel singer, she didn't love her husband when
they got married two and a half years ago and had issues trusting him so
many months after marriage, adding that she has gotten some help and is
currently dealing with all the issues.
Below is what she wrote;
"When I agreed to marry him two and a half years ago, I didn't
love him. Heck I didn't love my own self. I just needed a change of
story. I needed to stop being the girl everyone called an evil mistress
and "graduate" to somebody's Mrs. I thought the Mrs title was going to
save my ass and bring me some sort of redemption. I was wrong.
"Calling what happened next a disaster is putting it mildly.
Weeks into living together brought out the worse in both of us. I
thought I made a mistake. I didn't trust him so why was I married to
him. We would argue over everything and I convinced myself I wanted out
despite the baby on the way. In therapy I was able to face my own demons
for the first time. I realised it was never about him or the other guys
I dated. I was always looking for a fix outside of myself. I was always
needing someone to take away the pain and save my lonely self. I was
looking for what I wasn't because I thought that could heal me.
"Months of living outside my comfort zone and going where the
pain was brought me face to face with my demons that saved me. I didn't
trust him because I didn't trust me. I couldn't love him because I had
no love to give. I was always blaming him because it was easier to
project than take responsibility. As I started to evolve and see my own
self, I was able to see him for the first time. As I started loving
myself, I was able to love him and now as I learn to trust myself, I am
trusting him, one day at a time.
"As I lay beside him last night I remembered a quote I read
sometime ago. I don't remember who said it but it read, "when you love
the one you got, the one you got becomes the one you love." When I
stopped trying to change him and let him be, I was able to give room for
his own evolving. He ain't perfect. Who wants perfect anyways? I am
learning that all is as it should be in the Universe, there are no
mistakes only feedback.
"The Universe brought the one I needed for my evolving and I am
thankful. GRATITUDE is my dominant feeling this morning. If you are
struggling with the one you love, know that the world's standard of love
is fucked up. Vibrate higher and love because of love," she wrote.
No comments:
Post a Comment