The
story of Chidinma Okeke's leaked s*x video will continue to generate
debates online as it has exposed not just her own faults but the
hypocrisy of all.
Former Miss Anambra, Chidinma Okeke
This is one of those moments I feel ashamed to be a Nigerian. I
don't understand why there is so much hysteria about the leaked sex
video of a private citizen. In my opinion, this should not make the
news. There are far too many sanctimonious and judgmental people who
take it upon themselves to be morality police in this country. They
pontificate on how sinful sex is yet they seek out the leaked sex video
and all forms of porn on the internet.
The morality police turn a blind eye when prepubescent girls are
given out in marriage to men old enough to be their grandfathers but as
soon as consenting adults engage in premarital or gay sex they start
twitching. How is it anybody's business what two or more consenting
adults choose to do with their bodies if they are not hurting a third
party or forcing you to have sex with them?
Do you want something really worthwhile to talk about? Do you want
to talk about something that every decent person should be angry about? I
will give you it. Only this month, the Emir of Katsina reportedly
married a fourteen-year-old girl, assaulting her dignity and innocence
in the process but our society hardly took notice. Child-bride marriage
is so common in northern Nigeria that it is considered a normal way of
life.
This is a matter that has serious consequences for the lives of
young people. It should concern every citizen because it destroys the
lives of our children. It stops girls from going to school to get an
education, which in turn affects their prospects of getting good jobs
and becoming financially independent later in life.
These girls are more likely to develop abnormal connections between
their vagina, bladder, and rectum during childbirth, which then causes
them to become incontinent of feces and urine. The resultant malodor
very often leads to isolation and social ostracism or even divorce by
their husbands who simply marry the next child-bride. It is a lot of
psychological trauma for anybody to deal with let alone a teenage
mother. These young mothers end up begging on the streets when their
elderly husbands divorce them. Sadly, their children are left to the
mercies of hostile step-mothers and may end up as street beggars just
like their unfortunate mothers.
The evidence shows that children born to educated mothers have
better outcomes than those born to teenage mothers with no education or
job. When you educate a woman you empower the whole family and by
extension the society. Look around, and you will notice that the most
progressive and affluent societies in the world are the ones that have
educated and empowered their women. It seems to me that the Nigerian
society is confused and has its priorities the wrong way round. Why are
we angry when adults (married or not, gay or straight) engage in
consensual sex but turn a blind eye when children are raped by adults in
the name of tradition?
As a secular humanist, I do not look to any religious book or gods
for morals. I apply reason, common sense, judgment, and empathy in
decision-making. If two or more adults engage in consensual sex and this
does not harm anybody then it is none of my business. Period! I think
our self-righteousness and propensity to be judgemental come from
religion. Islam and Christianity condemn homosexuality and consensual
sex between unmarried adults but are silent on the matter of pedophilia.
Catholic priests have gained an ugly notoriety for sexually molesting
young boys all over the world.
The prophet of Islam married a prepubescent girl when he was in his
fifties and many Muslims cannot be persuaded to abandon this practice.
Despite unparalleled religiosity, our society is one of the most
decadent in the world - we are almost always near the top of the list of
the most corrupt countries in the world. Many Nigerian children endure
years of sexual abuse by close relatives such as uncles, aunties,
cousins, house-boys, house-girls or family friends. To think some of
these perverts are now sitting in judgment over Miss Anambra and her
friend is nauseating and outrightly hypocritical.
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Ijabla is a medical doctor and a humanist. He writes from the U.K.
Email: ijabijay@me.com
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