A
woman who ruined her marriage with her oppressive attitude towards her
husband has come out to advice other women outside to learn from her
experience.
*Photo used for illustrative purpose*
I am writing to you in order to make someone understand that its good to appreciate our partners despite their flaws.
I am 32 years old. Me and my ex-hubby dated for six years, I
started dating him whilst I was in grade 12, I was 19 years old. We were
best of friends, I waited until he completed college and started work,
my family and his family then met, we got married and had a son. (7
years old now).
My husband was short tempered at times, but our problems started
when I wanted to make him feel he can’t control me. Every time we argue,
I would pack my bags, go to my family and explain. My sisters would
phone my husband and shout at him. If he is controlling me I would
always dare him that if you wish to divorce me- I never wanted to
divorce, I just had pride and I never wanted to look a lose in his eyes.
One day I pushed him so had that for the first time he beat me and
lock me out side, I went to my family, my family took him to police,
every time I looked like I am being abused! But to be honest, I used to
abuse my husband emotionally.
He was arrested and detained. I was asked by his family to withdraw the case, I felt that what I was doing is wrong.
My husband was never a violent man, he did what he did because I
pushed him to the wall. Of which he openly knelt down and apologised. I
withdrew the charge, and we reconciled.
After three months, I packed my bags after a small issue, and he
remained alone. After two days I received a call that he is in the
hospital, my family told me that I shouldn’t go there because it will
look like am begging him, and my sisters believed he is faking the
illness.
All this time, people felt sorry for me like I was the one being
abused. He spent a week in the hospital after he came out, I just
received a divorce summon. I wanted to say no to divorce, but because I
felt this pride, I wanted him to change his mind and beg me, I called
him and say he will get the divorce because I live like am in hell.
When we went to court, I wanted to make him pay, so I told the
court that I needed his properties to be shared. To my surprise he
openly told the court that whatever he and me acquired together should
be given to me, all he wanted was divorce.
We got divorced in 2009 July. Now, this Saturday my husband is
getting married again, whilst I am here wasted! My family are gossiping
about me, I depend on what my ex gives to my son for survival.
I know I wasted my marriage. I am here telling all wives to be
careful how you get advise. Don’t be cheated. Even my young sisters are
much more respected than me. Those who encouraged me to divorce are
always bad mouthing me.
I thought its good to share. There is no benefit in pride.
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