A woman has told a really story of how her love for her boyfriend got her infected with HIV and how she handled the outcome.
The couple
Her misery started after a scary dream on June 24, 2016. It was
five months to her wedding. Thirty-year-old Talatu John (not real name),
a postgraduate student of a university in the North, woke up feeling
disturbed.
It was not the first time she had nightmares, but this particular day was different.
“I had a dream that when I went to collect the result of the
HIV/AIDS test I did, the result showed that I was positive. I began to
cry in the dream and many people tried to console me,” she said.
Sadly, the dream turned out to be real. Indeed, she had gone for a
HIV test but was yet to get the result. When she went to collect the
result of the test on the day of the dream, it showed she was HIV
positive.
Amid sobs, Talatu Sunday Punch, “What pains me most is that my boyfriend had the virus but never told me. We were having unsafe sex regularly.
“I don’t know why he never told me despite the fact that he
truly loves me. I saw it in my dream, but it has become a regrettable
reality.”
Talatu and Emmanuel met in 2014 when the former was searching for a
job at a government agency in the state capital. Before long, they fell
head over heels in love.
She narrated to Sunday Punch that their love transcended the
ordinary, adding that nothing indicated that something was wrong with
her partner.
Talatu launched into a long narration of how she found out the truth.
She said, “I love him. I still do. The love was so strong that I
gave him all my heart. We had unprotected sex at different times. I was
so much in love that I never cared whether we used a condom or not. I
was not even scared of being pregnant. He too never bothered to use a
condom.
“Then, I didn’t know he was HIV positive and he never told me.
Later, my sister, a nurse, told me she learnt that he (Emmanuel) is HIV
positive and that I should search his room. She gave me the name of the
drug he was using. But I never found any. In order to be sure I was not
already infected, I went for HIV/AIDS test and it showed that I was
negative. That calmed my nerves.
“But early this year, I found out I was getting regularly sick.
I used to feel hot and tired easily. After repeated medications for
malaria, I didn’t get better. Then I started depreciating in size. I was
advised to go for HIV test.
“The lady at the laboratory handed the result to me and told me
to see the doctor. She raised my curiosity when she told me she
couldn’t tell me the result. The doctor then dropped the bombshell. I
was devastated. So, in anger, I went to confront my boyfriend with the
news but he denied.
“I started crying and he consoled me; we had already made
arrangements for our wedding. It was a day before we went for
counselling at the church that he told me the truth. Sometimes, we
quarrel over this and I used to call him the ‘devil.’ But he kept on
consoling me.”
Last week Saturday at a popular church in Lafia, the Nasarawa State
capital, Talatu took a bold step and demonstrated that true love keeps
no record of wrongs when she got married to Emmanuel at a lavish
ceremony.
According to the couple, the church consented to the wedding
because both of them are HIV positive. The church was filled to capacity
as well-wishers, family and friends of the couple attended the
occasion.
Dressed in a black suit and white flowery gown, the couple wore
infectious smiles while the event lasted. In his goodwill message for
the groom and the bride, the officiating minister (names withheld),
urged them to always be patient with each other and avoid third party
interference in their marriage.
He admonished them to be contented with whatever God provided for
them and learn to tolerate each other, saying such an attitude would go a
long way in ensuring lasting peace in their home.
He said, “Marriage is an institution. Please, you should be
courageous and handle your matter within your home, no matter the
circumstance that surrounds your marriage. Do not allow any third party
to settle your disagreements. This will ruin your marriage. You shall
bear many children in your marriage. In fact, your first children will
be twins in Jesus’ name.”
Basking in the euphoria of the wedlock, the couple, who spoke in
separate interviews with Sunday Punch shortly after the wedding, said
they were happy.
Emmanuel said he was delighted and grateful to God for making his dream a reality.
He said, “In fact, I am overwhelmed. Today is my day and I
never expected this crowd on my wedding day. I really appreciate
everyone who took time out of their schedule to honour us. It is a
wonderful union indeed. This joy is unquantifiable and there is no day
in my life that is as important as this day.”
Emmanuel said he would have missed a lot in life if he had not met Talatu. “My
wife is a very loving and caring woman, incomparable to any other
woman. In fact, if I had not married her, I would have missed a lot of
things in life,” he stated.
According to Sunday Punch, it was however, noticed that although
there was joy written on John’s face, she did not hide her regret. She
had told our correspondents that her husband was unwilling to talk about
his HIV status or circumstances of their marriage.
She said, “I really appreciate God for making it possible to
witness this day alongside my lovely husband. The marriage is an act of
God. I thank God He has finally joined us together as husband and wife.
“I pray that the love that binds us together would continue
forever and ever in Jesus’ name. I pray that the marriage will be a
success. I have forgiven him but he cheated me by hiding the truth that
he is HIV positive from me. If he had told me his HIV status, it’s
either I accepted or rejected his marriage proposal. Although I have
forgiven him and accepted my fate, sometimes I wish I never met him.”
Talatu, who looked distantly into the future as she spoke, added
that she learnt from the experience and had taken a bold step to move on
with her life whether HIV positive or negative.
“My regret is that I will always be on drugs for the rest of my
life. He even warned me not to tell my family about my status. I wished
that I remained a virgin. I also regret not using condoms while the
courtship lasted.
“Sometimes, if you are in love, you will be fooled. I advise
young ladies to be careful. It is better to listen to wise counsel than
bear the consequences of wrong decisions. I have learnt my lessons,” she said.
Speaking on the marriage, a University of Lagos psychologist, Prof.
Oni Fagbohungbe, said hiding ones’ HIV status from one’s lover was
unacceptable and detrimental to such a relationship.
Fagbohungbe said many people who indulge in such deceit do so out
of fear that if they reveal the truth, their partners might not agree to
marry them.
He, however, noted that Emmanuel behaved wrongly by not disclosing
his status to his wife, adding that people like Emmanuel always use the
Bible, which preaches forgiveness, to appeal to their lovers.
Aside from the fact that such an act is morally unacceptable, the don said Emmanuel’s behaviour was criminal.
On what people in such relationships should do, Fagbohungbe said, “From
the beginning of the human race, deception to achieve one’s aim has
always been a recurring feature. This is very bad. The consequence of
deceit is detrimental.
“For people in such a relationship, they should count the cost.
If the consequence of continuing in such a relationship outweighs the
benefits, I will advise that they opt out.”
- Via Sunday Punch
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